The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling "The British are coming! The British are coming!"

You look at my audience, and it proves what Congress thinks America is, is wrong. I get people across the political spectrum. Parents and kids come and they're all punked out, and there are these other guys in John Deere caps.

My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter.

In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants.

I love anything that gets me outside of my own head.

If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that God has faith in them.

I watch some CNN and a lot of Fox, because it helps me get irritated.