None of this seems to affect the leadership, that people don't go out to vote, that they don't feel the need to go vote, that they already feel disenfranchised. It's not just Obama's fault or Clinton's or whomever's, it's all of them, the whole collection of clowns I've had to sit through.

I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not. So it's hard for me to come up with things, because I don't write stuff, I don't write my act down.

My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes

I do not make jokes about Sarah Palin simply because I could not live in this world if I believed she was a real person.

Stupidity really gets me going, when it's just plain stupid, obvious stupidity.

If I wanted to be bored by 6,000 pages of unreadable dreck, I'd read War and Peace four times.

I think inevitably over the course of my lifetime there's been an underestimation of the American people, and I believe they are really the ones that give me hope. There's so much of "they don't know this, and they don't know that," and they're always denigrating.