We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

We are all in this together, by ourselves.

You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.

I try to be cynical, but it's so hard to keep up.

If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.

Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.