Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth.

There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.

When we talk to god, it's prayer. When god talks to us, it's schizophrenia.

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

Wouldn't it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.

No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.