Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.

I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They'd eaten each other.

People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.

Having a real public outlet is how you imprint something for yourself. It's just a matter of timing. It's like you've marked your territory.

Nobody is here without a reason. I always had a different sensibility. I like a huge range of comedy - from broad and farcical, the most sensitive, the most understated - but I always wanted my comedy to be more embracing of the species rather than debasing of it.

After all, in private, we're all misfits