Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it's imposssible to keep up.

I worry about kids today - because of the sexual revolution, they're going to grow up and never know what "dirty" means.

Truth is, I've always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.

Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.

If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.

When we talk to god, it's prayer. When god talks to us, it's schizophrenia.