Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.

There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.

I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They'd eaten each other.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

I wonder what it would be like if we all became what we wanted to be when we grew up? I mean, imagine a world filled with nothing but firemen, cowboys, nurses and ballerinas.

After all, in private, we're all misfits

Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.