The last jobs I had were fixing cars and covering football games for a local access tv station. As in driving the mobile van to the field, setting up 3 cameras, teaching depressed grownups and interns how to use them and directing the game from the van and then wanting to kill myself.

My bank is the worst. They are screwing me. You know what they did to me? They're charging me money for not having enough money. Apparently, when you're broke, that costs money.

I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of.

People get successful and they start saying, 'Well of course I am! I was chosen! I'm special!' No, you're not.

People say, 'My phone sucks.' No, it doesn’t! The shittiest cellphone in the world is a miracle. Your life sucks. Around the phone.

For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money.

Race doesn't mean what it used to in America anymore. It just doesn't. Obama's black, but he's not black the way people used to define that. Is black your experience or the color of your skin? My experience is as a Mexican immigrant, more so than someone like George Lopez. He's from California. But he'll be treated as an immigrant. I am an outsider. My abuelita, my grandmother, didn't speak English. My whole family on my dad's side is in Mexico. I won't ever be called that or treated that way, but it was my experience.