One time, I threw a candy wrapper on the street. I was with a friend who said to me, You just littered on the street! Don't you care about the environment? And I thought about it, and I said, You know what? This isn't the environment. This is New York City. New York City is not the environment. New York City is a giant piece of litter. Next to Mexico City, it's the shittiest piece of litter in the world. Just a pussy, runny, smokin', stinkin' piece of litter.

You know the only thing happier than a three-legged dog? A four-legged dog.

The only road to good shows is bad ones. Just go start having a bad time, and if you don't give up, you will get better.

When I was a kid there was a show called 'Holmes & Yo-Yo' about a robot cop. I LOVED that show and I think it only lasted like three episodes.

I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping as we all should. I dunno. You don't live that long. It doesn't matter.

For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.