Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that's got a nice ring to it.

As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.

You make me laugh like a loon on loon tablets!

This is the first day of the rest of my life. So why is my hair sticking up like a cockerel?

Hello, my sister, Libby, also your daughter, is snogging a potato in my bed. What are you going to do about it?' Dad started yelling uncontrollably. I wonder if he is having the male menopause? If he starts growing breasts, I will definitely be running away with the Circus.

I couldn't believe it. It was unbelievable, that's why. My face was like a frozen fish finger. All rigid and pale. (But obviously not with breadcrumbs on it.)

What if you were really meant to be with someone? But you kept messing about and having the Horn and so on and you lost them.