Dad at breakfast today being very quiet. I notice he is clean shaven. I said to him, "Vati, what has happened to the little beaver that used to live on the end of your chin?

I am going to keep my mind (well, what's left of it) occupied by doing (and I never thought the day would come when I would say this) my homework.

At that point Ms Fox came in and said, "Hello, carry on as if I am not here." Then she lay down on the floor.

I like the idea that I can talk to any teenage girls. You know, in a language that makes sense to them.

I‘ve said it once and I will say it again, why can‘t everyone just speak English? The Americans give it a bit of a go — why can‘t other nations?

When girls walk home we put on lippy and makeup. We chat. Sometimes we pretend to be hunchbacks. But that is it. Perfectly normal behavior.

Look, I can't go out with you, because... because... because I'm a lesbian.