Marriage? I ain't got time for a husband or child. All my life I've looked after myself as if I was my own child.

When you think about it, what other playwrights are there besides O'Neill, Tennessee and me?

Always remember honey. A good motto is: Take all you can get and give as little as possible.

Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for.

A girl in the convertible is worth five in the phone book.

Woman: You certainly know the way to a man's heart. Mae West: Funny, too, 'cause I don't know how to cook.

One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it.