Whenever I'm broadcasting, I like it. When I'm broadcasting I can't wait to hear what I say.

My purpose in life always has been to avoid work. And I hear these people saying, "I work hard and I pay my taxes." Well, you're an asshole.

Corporations can deduct their planes, all their office expenses, their machinery, their computers and Teleprompters and whatever else they have. They can deduct their yachts, they can deduct their limousines, their planes, everything.

That's my punishment in hell, shoveling horseshit.

Alcoholism is a dread, an awful, and fatal disease.

I tell my children, shut up and let me speak. What I've learned, I have been married for 45 years and in my own family It is that I've learned to stop being judgmental, to listen.

I am an alcoholic, as I said. And it is however we call it, a disease. That's an explanation, but not an excuse.