Reconciliation is not possible when one party asks the other to obliterate all signs of their relationship.

It's so difficult to figure out how to offer support and also be honest with someone you love who's in a damaging relationship without making them feel defensive and retreating even further into isolation.

Some people give gifts in order to bewilder, confuse, and manipulate their recipients.

Reciprocating oral sex is, in general, a very good idea!

If you don't like potlucks, the solution to your problem is "don't go to potlucks," not "insist other people don't have them."

As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted that blow jobs are too difficult and painful for you to perform, and he's still very satisfied with your sex life. Take him at his word.

You need to be able to express your resentment and sense of loss in a way that doesn't damage your partner.