I always thought I was funny, but I was very sensitive, and very provocative just to get a rise out of people.

It amazes me that we are all on Twitter and Facebook. By "we" I mean adults. We're adults, right? But emotionally we're a culture of seven-year-olds. Have you ever had that moment when are you updating your status and you realize that every status update is just a variation on a single request: "Would someone please acknowledge me?

Art is supposed to punch you in the brain, and it's supposed to stay punched.

When I was a bit older I had all of the George Carlin records, all of the Steve Martin records, all of the Cheech and Chong records and all of the Richard Pryor records.

When you actually meet the devil and he offers you a deal most artists eventually negotiate.

Your insecurity and neediness is what makes you a big neurotic ball of comedy genius.

For my next trick I will make everyone understand me.