I once talked about wanting to kill myself, but I don't think I was ever really planning on doing it. It was just comforting to know that I could.
Marc MaronYou get all excited to give her the ring, and it's real emotional, and you give it to her, and she cries. And a second later, you're like, 'Damn, I could have had a car.'
Marc MaronAmericans don't understand irony? I am an intelligent person living in the United States. My entire existence is ironic.
Marc MaronWe live in an age where people are like, "I'd love to catch up. Maybe text me later? But don't call because I don't really listen to my messages. But if you text me..." We've displaced interaction into sound bites and untethered phrases and sentences that come up on the phone as Twitter feed.
Marc Maron