My monologues aren't always funny. They're generally thoughtful. Sometimes at different levels of aggravation. And sometimes no aggravation. But the pressure on me is not to be joke-efficient when I'm talking on this mic. And that sets the tone.

Everyone is a little bitter. We're born bitter. The personality itself is really just a very complex defense mechanism. A reaction to the first time someone said, "No you can't.

I feel bad for people who have never been addicted to anything, because they're the real losers. You want to know why? Because they don't know what it's like to really want something - and then get it again and again and again.

I think things evolve into jokes. I don't generally write them down as jokes. I talk them out.

I'm proud to be part of a generation where reading is a 'look.'

You can't avoid pain in life. It's how you handle pain, that's what defines you.

Maybe depression is the most reasonable response to all the crap around us. Maybe it's the happy people who need medication.