There was a period when I was getting a lot of banana bread, because I mentioned someone cooked me banana bread, and then everyone cooked me baked stuff, and I would take it to the hotel, and it was making me fat.

You get all excited to give her the ring, and it's real emotional, and you give it to her, and she cries. And a second later, you're like, 'Damn, I could have had a car.'

We need the children of Indonesia and the Philippines to manufacture our freedom of choice.

In most cases the only difference between depression and disappointment is your level of commitment.

Most of my comedy writing happens through improvisation on stage; doing it in the moment.

I'm weird; I have a very strange emotional memory. I really somehow hold on to even passing moments with people.

There's a fine line between cultural criticism and bitterness.