If you can't afford the good food or if you can't afford health care or if you don't have a job or if your car is dangerous because you can't get it fixed and you DIE, you just lost the game-bzzzzz-thanks for playing extreme capitalism.

For my next trick I will make everyone understand me.

Buying my wife a gun sort of like me saying, ' You know, I kinda want to kill myself, but I want it to be a surprise'.

There's something about cats' self-sufficiency and their seemingly individualistic ways that I find compelling.

I'm just very sort of compulsive and lack the ability to keep things in perspective. If I'm not writing or playing guitar or on the microphone or out on the road, I'm cleaning pots and pans or freaking out about some plumbing issue or tweeting.

Because we're comics and we pass each other on campus, we know of each other, and a lot of the time there's a mutual respect there.

In the sixties and seventies you could probably name all the great comics. It was still special.