I'm a guy that after having experience in radio and stuff, if I can trust the people I'm working with, I get a real thrill with working with other people who are good at what they do.

When I was a young comic in New York and I wasn't getting any work, I was wandering around the Lower East Side with my notebook. I would stop at the guitar place on St. Mark's and talk to that dude for a while, then I'd go to the bookstore and talk to that dude for a little while. I had a guy over at the record store, and I'd talk to him for a while. It kept me connected to life.

As a performer you are being used to keep people watching so the commercial endorsements that support the network can be seen by as many people as possible.

I’m glad to be part of the war on sadness. I’m a part time employee of the illusion that keeps people stupid.

You hope to see an arc of growth in your ability to become a character on television.

I just wanted to be a good comic and had no sense of show business, but at some point you want the opportunity to write a show about your life.

I don't care what anybody says, I think that George Bush is absolutely the right president to oversea the end of the world.