I find that if I don't do interviews, I get a little squirrely. I think that when you engage with someone else, or when you engage in something you're passionate about, you're sort of out of your own head.

I’m glad to be part of the war on sadness. I’m a part time employee of the illusion that keeps people stupid.

They are not testing comics for drugs. If our job is dependent on that, there would be three working comics in the country, and two of them would have puppets.

I don't care what anybody says, I think that George Bush is absolutely the right president to oversea the end of the world.

The medium of podcasting and the personal nature of it, the relationship you build with your listeners and the relationship they have with you - they could be just sitting there, chuckling and listening... there's nothing like that.

I just wanted to be a good comic and had no sense of show business, but at some point you want the opportunity to write a show about your life.

Everyone is a little bitter. We're born bitter. The personality itself is really just a very complex defense mechanism. A reaction to the first time someone said, "No you can't.