They used to have a smoking section at most airports. No more. They now have these glass-encased rooms. You're not just a smoker, you're an example to other people. You're an exhibit at a futuristic zoo.

I don't really compartmentalize well. I'm in a state of anxiety and panic a lot, but it's for different reasons. It used to be because I had nothing going on, but I work very hard and there doesn't seem to be an end to it.

When I was a young kid I loved Don Rickles, Buddy Hackett and Jackie Vernon.

Dogs are too much to handle. I don't need anything in my house that's needier than me.

Your insecurity and neediness is what makes you a big neurotic ball of comedy genius.

I'm not for everyone. I'm barely for me.

Jokes do finish themselves. I really do see them as ongoing conversations about personal themes that I ruminate on.