I have a very primitive sense that if I just turn on a radio or the television, that somebody's playing that stuff for me.

Dogs are too much to handle. I don't need anything in my house that's needier than me.

Faith in the face of disappointment is only enhanced by laughter in the face of pain.

Some of you may be perfectly happy with mediocrity. Some of you will get nothing but heartbreak. Some of you will be heralded as geniuses and become huge. Of course, all of you think that one describes you...hence the delusion necessary to push on.

I think things evolve into jokes. I don't generally write them down as jokes. I talk them out.

What appealed to me was the intimacy of the medium, the fact that I was doing it from my home, and the fact that I wanted to talk. I was not there to plug things. I don't do a hell of a lot of research. I go on a sort of kindred-spirit bonding that preexists the interview, and just see what unfolds.

Most of the comics that I talk to I've never talked to for more than ten minutes ever. So 95 percent of the time you're really hearing the first conversation between me and that guy on the podcast.