I have a very primitive sense that if I just turn on a radio or the television, that somebody's playing that stuff for me.

Dogs are too much to handle. I don't need anything in my house that's needier than me.

I found a great deal of relief and excitement watching comics when I was very young. My grandmother was very into them and so was my grandfather. They had a profound effect on me, so I just found myself watching comedians on the after-school shows: Merv Griffin and that kind of stuff.

Surveillance induced morality: relics of cultural retardation.

I know that the podcast is typically something I can do forever, because it's mine; it's just me and my producer and business partner, so it's our business.

Your insecurity and neediness is what makes you a big neurotic ball of comedy genius.

The bile makes it better. I am an information wasting machine - 100s of words a day.