Sometimes the only way to deal with horrific things in life is through a dark sense of humor.

Monogamy is so weird. Like when you know their name and stuff.

I taught Sunday School for two years. And I got fired. I abused my authority. I used to teach class like this, "OK, if one more person talks, everybody is going to Hell."

I don't really know what 'selling out' is exactly. I would sell out if I could, but nobody's buying it. I would love to go mainstream, but my comedy is too edgy. It's always too dirty. It's always too filthy. I'm dying to sell out. But I love doing comedy, I love touring, and I think I would do everything for free.

I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out.

We women are constantly at war with our bodies, it is hard to find amnesty for ourselves.

Kim Kardashian is a kind of archetype. But she owns her beauty and is tremendously successful. There's no tragedy, there's no drug story. There's just her and her fame and her beauty. But Anna Nicole created that template of somebody that you'd want to watch on reality TV. Somebody that you'd want to invite into your home or as a role model, in terms of beauty and lifestyle and glamour.