Sometimes the only way to deal with horrific things in life is through a dark sense of humor.

Try to have a good day today, wherever you are, whatever you do, whoever is near, if no one is near. Try to be happy, because you may not see tomorrow. There is someone this morning, who didn't wake up, who will never see this day. Try to feel lucky that this is not you.

My parents never really had that much money, so I kind of live in the same world that they do.

The stuff I do and say onstage I can do easily. As a performer, that comes easily. But being social offstage, it's not easy for me.

I think self-deprecation is such a disease, and I want to cure everybody of it and so that's my contribution.

Comedians and people in general have a cultural right to talk about their own culture and race.

No matter what these terrorists do, I refuse to be terrorized. All this requires is just a few alterations in our day to day lives. For example, my first instinct when I receive an envelope full of white powder... is to snort it! I just won't do that this time!