I taught Sunday School for two years. And I got fired. I abused my authority. I used to teach class like this, "OK, if one more person talks, everybody is going to Hell."

The newest victims of the nation's foreclosure crisis are pets, which is extremely distressing to me.

I really (became) very independent. I was start(ed) to write one-woman shows and mak(e) films and to me I think I really felt like my choice (was) more important than any kind of career goal.

I'm not a body shamer. The word fat has been used to hurt me my entire life.

I became a comedian because I didn't want to be bullied anymore. Onstage I was safe.

Kim Kardashian is a kind of archetype. But she owns her beauty and is tremendously successful. There's no tragedy, there's no drug story. There's just her and her fame and her beauty. But Anna Nicole created that template of somebody that you'd want to watch on reality TV. Somebody that you'd want to invite into your home or as a role model, in terms of beauty and lifestyle and glamour.

I love singing and that's kind of my new thing.