I'm always too fat. And I always look terrible. But I love the theater of the red carpet.

Being called ugly and fat and disgusting to look at from the time I could barely understand what the words meant has scarred me so deep inside that I have learned to hunt, stalk, claim, own and defend my own loveliness.

Anything Vince Clarke, whether it's Erasure, Yaz, or Depeche Mode. It's basically R&B with synths. It's very sexy music and perfect for gay sex.

I had been taking various lessons. I've also had a lot of incredible singers give me a ton of great advice. From Cyndi Lauper, who kind of taught me the basics, and I've also worked with Bird. She's a tremendous coach and she often coaches the contestants on 'American Idol.' I've had a great amount of support.

I want Jesus to come back and say 'THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT'" -

I didn't appreciate the young woman that I was, or my young beauty, because I was so obsessed with the fact that I felt fat. It's never good to add to anybody else's suffering. It's an important topic to really get the gravity and the importance of - dealing with dignity.

It makes it very hard to say what you believe in and not be attacked for it. And it's not fair; I'm Korean, but I'm not supposed to talk about my experience and my life? It's unaccepting.