I'm always too fat. And I always look terrible. But I love the theater of the red carpet.

I became a comedian because I didn't want to be bullied anymore. Onstage I was safe.

Where do people get off telling people what to do? It's their bodies. If you legalized sex work and legally protected the sex workers, you wouldn't see anything like human trafficking. All of that would be obliterated.

I don't want to bring myself down to place where there are hard and fast rules. In general I try to be compassionate, but that is dependent on the moment ultimately.

If I'm talking to a guy who's straight and cute and single, I'm like 'are you a unicorn?'

I am into belly dancing. I used to only hang with comics. Now I have friends who are dancers, and my whole house has a harem feel.

I think it is time for all babies to let us know who they want for president.