... the more you love what you do, the harder it is to do it well enough to get by yourself.

I was born serious and I have earned my bread making other people laugh.

I never weep over lost money, for I figure I'd rather go to the poorhouse once than go there every day.

I contend that every woman has the right to feel beautiful, no matter how scrambled her features, or how indifferent her features.

If there's one thing I know, it's men. I ought to. It's been my life's work.

I enjoy reading biographies because I want to know about the people who messed up the world.

Now I know that lawyers must live, but I've never been able to understand why they have to live so blamed well!