A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.

Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Darwin abolished special creations, contributed the Origin of Species and hitched all life together in one unbroken procession of Siamese Twins, the whole evolved by natural and orderly processes from one microscopic parent germ.

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

There isn't a Parallel of Latitude but thinks it would have been the Equator if it had had its rights.

If all the fools in this world should die, lordly God how lonely I should be.