Damn these human beings; if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.

The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.

A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray; and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.

I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but it's never happened yet.