Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world is quite as good as Southern corn bread, and perhaps no bread in the world is quite as bad as the Northern imitation of it.

When in doubt, tell the truth. That maxim I did invent, but never expected it to be applied to me. I did say, "When you are in doubt," but when I am in doubt myself I use more sagacity.

The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is being attacked, and every man will be glad of these conscience-soothing falsities

The minute we get reconciled to a person, how willing we are to throw aside little needless punctilios and pronounce his name right.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.

He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.