Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Senator: Person who makes laws in Washington when not doing time.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

You have noticed that the human being is a curiosity. In times past he has had (and worn out and flung away) hundreds and hundreds of religions; today he has hundreds and hundreds of religions, and launches not fewer than three new ones every year. I could enlarge on that number and still be within the facts.

Man is the only slave. And he is the only animal who enslaves. He has always been a slave in one form or another, and has always held other slaves in bondage under him in one way or another. In our day, he is always some man's slave for wages, and does that man's work; and this slave has other slaves under him for minor wages, and they do his work. The higher animals are the only ones who exclusively do their own work and provide their own living.

Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.

Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.