English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put 'laughter' in the wrong place.

All religions issue bibles again Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.

Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.

In statesmanship get formalities right, never mind about the moralities.

Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.

Switzerland is simply a large, lumpy, solid rock with a thin skin of grass stretched over it.

The blunting effects of slavery upon the slaveholder's moral perceptions are known and conceded the world over; and a priveleged class, an aristocracy, is but a band of slaveholders under another name.