Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defense.

Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow.

We have to keep our God placated with prayer, and even then we are never sure of him-how much higher and finer is the Indian's God...Our illogical God is all-powerful in name, but impotent in fact; the Great Spirit is not all-powerful, but does the very best he can for his injun and does it free of charge

I will now claim - until dispossesed - that I was the first person in the world to apply the typewriter to literature. ... The early machine was full of caprices, full of defects- devilish ones. It had as many immoralities as the machine of today has virtues. After a year or two I found that it was degrading my character, so I thought I would give it to Howells. ... He took it home to Boston, and my morals began to improve, but his have never recovered.

Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.

Ah, if he could only die temporarily!

To forget pain is to be painless; to forget care is to be rid of it; to go abroad is to accomplish both.