The English are mentioned in the Bible; Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.

Protestant parents still keep a Bible handy in the house, so that the children can study it, and one of the first things the little boys and girls learn is to be righteous and holy and not piss against the wall. They study those passages more than they study any others, except those which incite to masturbation. Those they hunt out and study in private.

Of all the animals, man is the only one that lies.

It is not best to use our morals weekdays, it gets them out of repair for Sunday.