Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?

A private should preserve a respectful attitude toward his superiors, and should seldom or never proceed so far as to offer suggestions to his general in the field. If the battle is not being conducted to suit him, it is better for him to resign. By the etiquette of war, it is permitted to none below the rank of newspaper correspondent to dictate to the general in the field.

We could use up two Eternities in learning all that is to be learned about our own world and the thousands of nations that have arisen and flourished and vanished from it. Mathematics alone would occupy me eight million years.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.

Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous.

Death is the starlit strip between the companionship of yesterday and the reunion of tomorrow.