In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.

Water is an individual, an animal, and is alive, remove the hydrogen and it is an animal and is alive; the remaining oxygen is also an individual, an animal, and is alive. Recapitulation: the two individuals combined, constitute a third individual-and yet each continues to be an individual....here was mute Nature explaining the sublime mystery of the Trinity so luminously that even the commonest understanding could comprehend it, whereas many a trained master of words had labored to do it with speech and failed.

No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

Figures don't lie, but liars figure.

Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.