Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first!" Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.

Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.

It has been reported that I was seriously ill--it was another man; dying--it was another man; dead--the other man again...As far as I can see, nothing remains to be reported, except that I have become a foreigner. When you hear it, don't you believe it. And don't take the trouble to deny it. Merely just raise the American flag on our house in Hartford and let it talk.

I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.

He was such a good man that people hated to see him coming.