The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public

I couldn't bear to think about it; and yet, somehow, I couldn't think about nothing else.

As a boy, I once saw a cart of melons that sorely tempted me. I sneaked up to the cart and stole a melon. I went into the alley to devour it, but no sooner had I set my teeth into it, than I paused, a strange feeling coming over me. I came to a quick conclusion. Firmly, I walked up to that cart, replaced the melon - and took a ripe one.

Frankness is a jewel; only the young can afford it.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first!" Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer