When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum.

A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.

What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself. All day long, the mill of his brain is grinding, and his thoughts, not those of other things, are his history. These are his life, and they are not written. Everyday would make a whole book of 80,000 words -- 365 books a year. Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man -- the biography of the man himself cannot be written.

All my life I have been honest-comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly-I could only lend it.

After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.

In God We Trust. It is the choicest compliment that has ever been paid us, and the most gratifying to our feelings. It is simple, direct, gracefully phrased; it always sounds well - In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.

Rise early. It is the early bird that catches the worm. Don't be fooled by this absurd law; I once knew a man who tried it. He got up at sunrise and a horse bit him.