I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

The partitions of the houses were so thin we could hear the women occupants of adjoining rooms changing their minds.

Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

I'm the only person who has ever found the right way to build an autobiography.