I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

Writing is the easiest thing in the world.... Just try it sometime. I sit up with a pipe in my mouth and a board on my knees and I scribble away.

I have only one moral precept; never smoke more than five cigars at a time.

How charmed I am when I overhear a German word which I understand!

If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.

A man who chooses not to read is just as ignorant as a man who cannot read.

The history of our race, and each individual’s experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.