Would it not be prudent to get our civilization tools together, and see how much stock is left on hand in the way of Glass Beads and Theology, and Maxim Guns and Hymn Books, and Trade Gin and Torches of Progress and Enlightenment (patent adjustable ones, good to fire villages with, upon occasion), and balance the books, and arrive at the profit and loss, so that we may intelligently decide whether to continue the business or sellout the property and start a new Civilization Scheme on the proceeds.

Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.

Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.

The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.

Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.

The Autocrat of Russia possesses more power than any other man in the earth; but he cannot stop a sneeze.

Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.