One day man by the slow processes of evolution shall develop into something really fine and high - some billions of years hence, say.

I was born lazy. I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the limit forty years ago. You can't go beyond possibility.

No temperance society which is well officered and which has the real good of our fellow-men in view, will ever get drunk save in the seclusion of its temperance hall.

I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.

The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury.

There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his forthcoming book. No. 1 admits you to his respect; No. 2 admits you to his admiration; No. 3 carries you clear into his heart.

I saw a startling sight today, a politician with his hands in his own pockets.