The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.

Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.

We all like to see people sea-sick when we are not ourselves.

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.

What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must.

Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him.