Man is the only animal that deals in that atorcity of atrocities, War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind.

Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.

I would not rob you of your food or your clothes or your umbrella, but if I caught your German out I would take it. But I don't study any more,- I have given it up.

The true pioneer of civilization is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad - but whiskey!

Demagogue--a vessel containing beer and other liquids.

If the world ends, I'll just head on down to Kentucky because they're always 20 years behind.

Talking of patriotism, what humbug it is; it is a word which always commemorates a robbery.