The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our capacities, we will then be a happy and a virtuous people.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'

India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.

Remember this, take this to heart, live by it, die for it if necessary: that our patriotism is medieval, outworn, obsolete; that the modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism, is loyalty to the Nation ALL the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.