Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.

Yes - en I's rich now, come to look at it. I owns myself, en I's wuth eight hund'd dollars. I wisht I had de money, I wouldn' want no mo'.

Definite speech means clarity of mind.

The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.

Humor is the good natured side of a truth.

It is yet another Civilized Power, with its banner of the Prince of Peace in one hand and its loot-basket and its butcher-knife in the other. Is there no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level?.

Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?