My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.

No one can write perfect English and keep it up through a stretch of ten chapters. It has never been done.

Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.

I have tried getting up early, and I have tried getting up late-and the latter agrees with me best.

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

If we had less statemanship we could get along with fewer battleships.