....honest men are few when it comes to themselves.

Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.

A man who is not born with the novel-writing gift has a troublesome time of it when he tries to build a novel. I know this from experience. He has no clear idea of his story; in fact he has no story. He merely has some people in his mind, and an incident or two, also a locality, and he trusts he can plunge those people into those incidents with interesting results.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. Exercise is loathsome. And it cannot be any benefit when you are tired; and I was always tired.

Senator: Person who makes laws in Washington when not doing time.

I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.