When all is said and done, the one sole condition that makes spiritual happiness and preserves it is the absence of doubt.

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.

Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the ax flash and come down-you don't hear nothing; you see the ax go up again, and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the k'chunk!-it had took all that time to come over the water.

Humor is like a frog; if you dissect it, it dies.

You can't reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.

Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys.