If there is a God, he is a malign thug.

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.

A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public

To be great, truly great, you have to be the kind of person who makes the others around you great.

The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world is quite as good as Southern corn bread, and perhaps no bread in the world is quite as bad as the Northern imitation of it.