We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard; but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that.

I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked than Ulysses S Grant in full military regalia.

We must put up with our clothes as they are - they have their reason for existing. They are on us to expose us - to advertise what we wear them to conceal. They are a sign; a sign of insincerity; a sign of suppressed vanity; a pretense that we desire gorgeous colors and the graces of harmony and form; and we put them on to propagate that lie and back it up.

There is no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level.

It is sound statesmanship to add two battleships every time our neighbour adds one and two stories to our skyscrapers every time he piles a new one on top of his to threaten our light. There is no limit to this soundness but the sky.

When some men discharge an obligation, you can hear the report for miles around.

Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.