When politics enter into municipal government, nothing resulting therefrom in the way of crimes and infamies is then incredible. It actually enables one to accept and believe the impossible.

Temper is what gets most of us into trouble. Pride is what keeps us there.

The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass. If the case be otherwise, I beg his pardon and extend to him the cordial hand of fellowship and call him brother.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopt.

Armor is heavy, yet it is a proud burden, and a man standeth straight in it.

We love old travelers: we love to hear them prate, drivel and lie; we love them for their asinine vanity, their ability to bore, their luxuriant fertility of imagination, their startling, brilliant, overwhelming mendacity.